My life has always revolves around coffee just like my mom, and with this I say goodbye to my money. I get a certain amount of money each month from my mom all because I don’t have a job, and with this I tend to spend it on Dutch most of the time. It’s really sad when I think about it but I know that the money is used for good things as well as making more coffee for me. I’d like to apareciste my 4th plain crew because they always know what I want and know my favorite drinks and what flavors I don’t like. My mom and I have a small addiction to Dutch bros but it’s okay. I can’t express how much money my bank account would consume if I didn’t spend money on Dutch, but you know what it’s okay. The way the rebels are blended and the way a Christmas morning tastes, it can always make my day, no matter what’s going on.
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“Look I know things are looking awful right now, but you know what they say, when something bad happens something good is coming. You can't dwell on something for to long or else you'll overthink everything and feel worse. Nothing seems good but look past all this and look forward to something. Don't ever think something is set in stone if it's a bad day. Do something to make the day turn around, do it for yourself and no one else. Don't get irritated with people to quickly but if they don't leave you alone after you saying you don't want to talk if ignore them first. Don't rush into snapping at people. Don't forget about Jatos or Rivard you can go and talk to, don't forget about being able to take a break from everything and just relax and listen to music. Tune some things out and just focus on yourself, focus on getting work done and being ahead in your class. Don't let someone tell you to move on and forget it, but don't draw this out for a week. Let go of the little things and confront the others on the ones that will bug you. But don't forget that all things will pass and everything will eventually get better even if it doesn't feel like it."
I have a 2003 Acura TL type S and it's the most precious thing I have. I make sure nothing happens to it. People call me crazy because of how much time and effort I put into it to make sure nothing is wrong. People ask me the color and I'm specific with it, it's "gunmetal grey" not silver and not sparkly grey. I'm specific with it. I remember the first time I got to drive it. My mom took me into the Roosevelt elementary school parking lot when I was only 14 to let me just see how driving feels. It was so much fun, I remember I was trying to shift into drive and I didn't know I needed my foot on the break first and I remember my mom just started cracking up.
Now the story with the tree and my car is one I swear to god I will never not be tasked about. When I first got my permit, my mom needed the breaks redone on the car. With my uncles being mechanics we just had bough the parts and then went to my uncles place surrounded by trees and lots of room to just handing out and relax. My uncle wanted to drive the car to the store because we needed paprika for what my mom was making for dinner and he wanted his 911 large drink from a Dutch before he began so he had me drive around. With this he was able to see which brakes needed to be replaced right away vs some who could wait another month or two before needing to be redone. With going back home and somehow making all the green lights on the stretch of 28th street and then getting back to the house. Well he had decided the back breaks were the worst and those needed to be done first and he wanted me to back into the garage to place the back end on the orange jacks. Well so at my uncles house there are two trees fairly close to each other but hable enough room for a car to park between them. This spot is in front of the garage and is the perfect turn around spot to back into my uncles garage packed garage full of weird nerdy guy tools for big dodge Diesel trucks. Well my uncle told me to let off the gas completely and just let the car coast into the spot to be able to reverse into the garage. Well I didn't realize how much I needed to crank the wheel and I kept going without my uncle saying a word, and all of a sudden I hear "clunk" and I noticed I had brushed up aside the front end of my car to the tree. No dent or anything just a tiny little scuff. But the scariest part about that was going into the house while my mom was cooking laughing but knowing I might get my butt into huge trouble. What the best part was, was that when my uncle entered the house after me he couldn't do anything but just laugh because he thought it was so funny, and now anytime I am around any trees he always wants to make sure they are okay and he looks Beverly closely to make sure there is no scuff marks on them. To this day, almost 2 years after this incident, my family can not get over the fact that I barely brushed a tree. My mom tells everyone and my uncles always make fun of me. But what I think is the best part of this is, is that it's like one little thing and now my whole family knows and teases me about it any time they drive with me. It's like parking in a parking lot away from any treses my family always makes a joke about how "all the trees ran away before you could park here. They must have known you wee coming." I don't know. Sometimes it gets annoying but at the same time I have finally learned to embrace it and just laugh with them, because now I know they aren't laughing at me, they are laughing with me. After forecasting and everything that has happened this year I can already tell that my senior year is going to be stressful but in the end it's all going to be worth it. My class load is still the same with crazy amounts of AP classes, but they shouldn't be as hard and require as much work as mine this year did. Next year I'm taking; yearbook, AP LIT, AP comparative government, Anatomy, psychology, Medical translation and interpretations, ASB, and AP statistics. Not all these classes are required to graduate but I'm taking them because I want to and I want to make sure I'm preparing myself more for what college could be like. I'm sad because of couple of my friends are moving to different schools, but I just want to make sur my senior year is memorable and drama free. I want one year where I'm just not always worrying about what others are thinking about me and what others are saying about me. I'm happy with my group of friends I have right now, and honestly everyone knows you don't leave high school with a huge group of friends. By your senior year you have been able to narrow it down to just the ones you need that will be the best for you and be able to support your decisions. With my grades I hope to keep the, about where this years grades have been but higher grades in my math and science classes. I know I'll be finishing this semester with a 3.3 GPA, and I hope next year that can be more around a 3.5/6 even though I know colleges will add to my GPA based off the amount of AP classes I have participated in.
I'm excited for my senior year but at the same time I know it's going to go so quickly, and before I know it I'll be graduating. That for me is going to be so sad because I know I probably won't be going to college with a lot of my friends. I'm going to hang out with friends more, and do huge Dutch lunch groups and go and get food with all my friends. I'm excited for homecoming week with color war, AND THE CLASS OF 2018 ABOUT TO BE CHAMPS! Then I'll be dreading semester one finals and hopefully haven't has procrastinated as much as I have this year. (But this year wasn't as bad as sophomore year) Hopefully with next year I am able to have good grades and be able to soar with all of my sports activities, as well as pass a couple more AP exams. I'm glad I have had the parents to encourage my schooling and love for sports but at the same time I know I'm going to need surgery soon because of all my broken bones. I am the one on the sports teams that had every pain killer available and always has braces on and has load of remedies to kill pain. I'm excited for my senior year and all the memories to come, as well as the loads of photos, oh and of course DUTCH. We'll see how much homework and procrastination comes with my senior year but at he same time, I know I'll kick my own ass into gear and comes graduation I'll be crying but I'll stay in contact will all my friends who I want to email close with. Junior year has been so packed. I honestly haven't had much time to do anything else because my life kind of revolved around my education and sports this year. I'm pretty sure I have lost more sleep just this school year then both my freshman and sophomore year combined. Class load and stress levels went through the roof, but I guess it will all pay off in the end and I'll be ready for what next school year has to bring to me. I think one of the most important things through this year was I saw who I really was, and who I really wanted to be, as well as overcoming challenges put in my path. I had my ups and down this year but I'm glad things are finally turning out the way I wanted them to. Let's just start a list.
Academics: 1st semester didn't go so well, I mean my grades were okay but they could have been better. Overall they ended up okay but I know now that my cumulative GPA has dropped and I need it to raise again. So far with second semester, my grades have stayed up and I have managed to balance; a medical class, PAP Pre-Calc, and 4 AP classes. I'm proud of what my grades are and I'm proud with how I have learned how to balance everything even though I procrastinate a lot. Friends: I finally came to term with who my real friends are and who those people are who really care for me. I became closer with some new people who I hope to stay close with next year. A couple of you guys are able to make me forget if I'm having a bad day, or if I'm irritated with others, and some of you know how to just make me laugh and then snort and then laugh because I'm weird. Relationship: With my boyfriend graduating the previous year, things started off hard. We ended up taking a break for a while due to me finding somethings out that I didn't want to come to realization with. With that happening we didn't really talk much until he came back home in December. Things got much better and we made things official again on New Years with keeping our original date that we began dating. Everything since has been good, and things have just kept good for us. I'm glad things got better, it really has been the glue to my junior year with being a huge reason as to why I'm happy. Sports: All of my sports season this year had their ups and downs. Volleyball (fall) we did great this year. We had our first league win in 5 years and made it to districts but unfortunately didn't move on from there. Bowling (winter) was good, my average increased quite a bit and I had more help this year with new bowling balls being added to my collection. Softball (spring) had some issues, both health and team issues. I was a swing player and played both on Jv and Varsity. I pitched more for Jv and had a blast with it, however because I was mainly the only pitcher I have worn out my knee pretty badly, and I'm concerned if I'll get hurt during volleyball season since I'm a defensive player mainly. I'm just going to go straight into this blog. The title kind of says it all. I tried to keep this blog small since my next one is much bigger.
The Funniest: You know a lot of people make me laugh on a daily within the class of 2018. I have gotten closer to knowing him this year and no matter what, everyday in English he has something to say that just makes me laugh. Caleb Maher you are so funny and not everyone sees it, or gets the chance to but I'm glad I have English with you because you can make me laugh when you know I'm in a bad mood. You've been there with me through a lot, and know that when I'm laughing so hard you can call when I'm about to snort. And it makes me laugh even harder because you know that personality of me so well. The Smartest: There is so many people I could put here. So I can't just choose one. Brenda, your so amazing and smart and you helped me a little with chem last year and a little in math this year. Isabel and Shaeny, you guys always come to the rescue when I need help in Spanish and when I don't understand something in math but you do. (You guys are the best and I loved our date before our Spanish AP test). And last but not least, Ruby. Girl you have helped me so much in so many classes, I can't even remember what classes there is too many. You will forever be my short stack and I know when I need help with something I can come to you and you won't judge. You all are people I know I can come to if I need help. Favorite Blog: I think my favorite blog would have to be Grace Wilcox, girl you always got something in every blog that is so relatable and so inspiring. Girl I have known you since middle school and I know we don't talk much but you always have something nice to say, and back to your blogs like you they are amazing. Even though I don't always comment on them I look forward and never regret reading your blogs. I can't wait till you write something and I have the chance to read it, you will do so many great things and what I can see right now, I can't wait and am excited for you. I admire: My best friends, no matter what I look for their opinions and advice on certain things. This would be Tanya Padilla and Katie Campbell. You guys mean the world to me and no matter wha you're my best friends. I'm so glad I have had you guys since freshman year and I can't believe I may only have one more year with you guys, but no matter what I know we will talk all the time. You guys are always there for me and I wouldn't want anyone else there. I'm so excited and ready to go into senior year with you guys, and I can't wait to maybe hang with you guys this summer too. Most Successful: Kezyah, you are so smart and I know that you will achieve so much in life. I don't know you that well and don't have any classes with you. I always enjoy your presence and you are so cute, sweet, and I love your personality. I always know when you're around and you're so smart and I can't wait to see what you do later in life and what school you choose with all this amazing schools wanting you. Greatest Senior Year: I agree with everyone here. Trey will definitely be the one to have the greatest senior year. He can make anything fun and he will make these assemblies and sport events so much fun. I will say I have nothing but high hopes for my senior year as well, I hope that it's the best out of all my four years there. And I intend to make sure I'm enjoying my senior year with who I want to be in it. Figure skating meant the world to me, I loved it and I really regret not going like I used to. These figure skates have gotten me through 5 long hard years of figure skating (stopped at the end of sophomore year, I had to get serious about school again) and I wouldn't ever trade them for anything or even sell them. Figure skating was a good way for me to just have a couple hours to myself every weekend of every month of every year for a total of almost 9 years. It was hard to have to walk away from something like that I loved.
Figure skating isn't something you can just one day be like "I want to try this out". It's one of those sports you watch carefully before you try and set yourself great goals and knowing you will have to push through obstacles before you can accomplish goals with this sort. Figure skating isn't about the fancy little dresses, or how high or how long you can hold your I-Spin for, it's about the dedication and will to always wanna be there and wanna give it your all. To hate having to wait those long 16 minutes for the Zamboni to resurface the ice, but knowing deep down inside it will make it all easier for those jumps, spins and footwork I needed to practice. It was always hard to leave the rink, it was hard to hang up my skates for school and a school sports. I knew this year was going to be my toughest so I had to put things aside and put school first. It was so tough and I regret it so much because it was the best stress reliever I had and it could just take everything away for those few hours and I could just be completely blank and do something I absolutely love. Figure skating for me wasn't about doing a sport not a lot of people do. I had dedication to it, I had will for it, I would work on and off the ice on my tricks and would stay up the night before my practice going over exact plans on what I wanted to work on the next day. I loved my coach, her name was Jeanie, she was the best person ever. She was a little older han the other coaches but she had more dedication then any other coach I had. She was the best. I honestly miss figure skating so much and now that all AP tests are over I plan on trying to journey back into the sport I had all my passion into. I don't have dreams of going big with the sport, or making it to the olympics, but I want it as a hobby no doubt. Figure skating is tough and whips you into shape fast! It was my favorite thing to look forward to on the weekends, and now all I have to look forward to is sleep (which don't get me wrong isn't awful) but in my heart I still have passion for the sport, and really miss it with everything I have. These skates have gotten m through everything, and with me getting back into a sport I love with everything I have, they will get me through even more. I'm so happy I am choosing to get back into this, it will help my stress levels, as well as give me something to do during the summer as well as keep me in shape! I am emotional and I'm okay about it. I have finally accepted that being emotional is okay and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. All of this emotion has been built up for many years, and it has basically stayed the same but at time it hits be like a ton of bricks. It all started with things during school, middle school was the hardest and then it got worse in high school. But what confuses me is why people attack me if hey don't really know me or haven't ever talked to me and that's the one part that I absolutely hate and want an answer to the most.
The worst of it was in middle school. My mom worked at Gaiser Middle School for my 6th grade year and then got transferred to Fort Vancouver High School my 7th grade year. I had people not want to talk to me or not want to be my friend because they were afraid of my mom, and though I would tell her if anything that wasn't supposed to happen, happened at school. Which I never did. I had very few friends and had one kid who to this day I still really can't talk to because of how much I hated him in middle school. He doesn't go to Fort thank god, but I see him every now and there here in Vancouver. He would say the worst things to me, including the usual "why are you here?" Or "no one wants to be your friend" or what always hurt me the most was "you'll never be fit enough to be pretty." These always killed me and out a damper on my day. But the worst part of it was that I had at least one class with him every year so, if he had the chance he said something along the lines like that to me everyday. Killing my confidence every day, killing my thrill to want to strive in school, or even go to school. It was at the point to where the program I was in with him, we all went to Costa Rica and I didn't want to wear shorts or tank tops because I didn't want to be made fun of. These were the days where I would cry sometimes doing homework because I didn't know where I belonged anymore. But it didn't stop there in middle school. I got to high school, thinking it would be better without all these kids who tortured me with words. High school started off great I will have to say, I got in shape over the summer with the volleyball team I later played on and made some great friends and my best friend. Less than a month into high school I met the guy I have been dating for almost 3 years. I will say that it has had its ups and downs and has made me maybe a little more emotional then I should be at my age. We had so much in common and were so happy together for a little over 2 years. Then everything went south. A lot happened, making me regret who I was and trying to change who I was to keep someone who I didn't really know anymore. I was confused as to why we were always fighting and always arguing. There would be heavy arguments at school causing us to fight, and causing me to cry and everyone wanting to know what was wrong. To today I still have one person to blame for it all, and it's not him. It got worse and worse and we broke up for a couple months and then got back together. In between during those months, I was so emotional. I wanted to talk to him as I couldn't, he blew me off on everything, and I was called some unnecessary things a girls at our age should be called. I became so emotional then and cried a lot, sometimes crying myself to sleep because of it all. 2017 things have gotten tons of better. We made everything official on new years. I have become less emotional but I still have my days. I still have those time where I see a photo of myself and I get all those awful memories and want to just cry because I hated life then, and the same goes with songs too. But the year is going great confidence in school is going up dramatically, and I'm getting there with my self image issues, but they aren't easy to overcome. I do want to thank those of you who have been there for me through both middle and high school, or those of you who helped me though high school (including my boyfriend of 3 years). Without you guys I don't know who i would lean on when i need it, as well as being there for me with advice and helping me talk things out instead of keeping them all inside making me lose my mind. You all know who you are, and thank you for helping me realize that it's okay to be emotional, especially when you have people to help you through everything. So based off people I would want to get to know better I honestly don't know of anyone. I have people that I have been close with since freshman year and that's really all I need. These people have kept me up in any time I need and I don't really think I need anyone else if they won't be there for me like that. Some people I just don't know that I could be friends with because of who I am and how people see me based off who my mom was. I honestly do hate that but it's okay because it just shows me as to who could really be friends with me for who I am, and how I treat others. I honestly think that if I wanted to get closer with others I would have by now gotten to know them. I don't mind talking to new people but if they aren't going to be okay with me being me then I don't care. I honestly don't and I'll be blunt about it all. So if I had to choose someone to get closer to I don't think I could. I don't think I could pick just one or two people to get to know better, because in all reality I wanna know know something about everyone, but I just can't see myself like that. I get involved in sports and clubs for that reason, so I can meet new people but in all reality I don't think I could. It sucks that I can't just pick one person but I don't really even get to hang out with people a lot because of my school/sports/homework schedule and that I can't get a lot of free time outside with my family either. And mainly that's my fault for not making time outside, but when I honestly have free time I try to use it as best as I can and try to hang out with friends or family that I really don't get to see that often.
My mother means the world to me and I don't know what I would do without her. She is such a huge role model in my life, and she always pushes me to do my best and get good grades in school that way I can do well in college. Not only this but she has encouraged me since I was little to follow my dreams and never told me that they were to big to fulfill. I'm so incredibly great full to have someone like this to care for me.
One of my most memorable time with my mom was in December of 2014. Not many of you know but I used to figure skate. It was such a great time that u had when I did it. No matter what I would spend 3-4 hours every Saturday almost in the ice rink practicing with my coach getting ready for my first performance. I decided to perform for the first time because I finally had enough confidence to skate in front of people. My mom had supported me for the first 6 years I had been skating and has tried to get me to perform prior to then, I always chickened out. I never felt fully confident. But once my coach and I talked and we made sure that we had music I liked and things I was good at in the program. The day of the program my mom got me to the rink early in the morning to go through it fully 2-3 more times with my coach, then have lunch with my family at Sweet Tomatoes on Mill Plain, and get me back home in time to shower and get hair and makeup done before my performance. I was getting so excited to perform up until the moment I returned to the ice rink. I strated to become nervous and wanted to back out last minute. My coach went to get my mom and she came down to the back room so that she could talk to me. I had told her the other girls were way better than me and I didn't belong there in the show because I needed more practice. My mom disagreed and got me up and started my music off my phone and ran through it with me to prepare me again. She was there with me every step of the way. I knew that I was ready after this, my mom just has something about her and can make me feel so ready for things I think I shouldn't even ever do. I got out into the ice and took my started position and saw my mom have the biggest smile ever, it felt so nice to see that. I did my whole program only a little early on some sections, but I did si much better than I thought I was. She gave me the biggest hug after I put my covers on my blades and walked up the stairs, she told me that she knew I could do it and knew I would do so well. This was such a great accomplishment for me, and I would do it again with no regrets. It felt so nice to have my parent there who fully supported me and fully knew I could do my best no matter what would happen on the ice. My mom loved watching me skate, and I do miss it a lot. It was nice to have a couple hours every weekend to not stress about school, sports, homework and all. I am thinking about going back on Saturdays and getting back into what I loved. I feel maybe it would make me do better and not be as stressed with school. We'll see what happens when the time comes for me to make a decision, but no matter what I know my mom would be happy for me since I really loved it. |
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