On May 18th 2009, my baby sister was born. Leading up to this day I went through all emotions. I remember when we found out it was a girl, I remember when we bought her first outfit, I even remember when my dad, stepmom and I took a photo together and my stepmom wanted to stand behind me to hide. I remember asking why she would want to hide behind me, this was the day I found out I was getting a little sibling. I still carry that picture to this day in my wallet along with the very first picture taken of my baby sister. I remember my dad calling my mom and telling her that he was on his way to the hospital because my litter sister was coming, and I remember my mom calling my elementary school and asking to speak with me so I could know what was going on. I asked my mom if I could leave school, but she had explained to me that I wasn't able to see my sister yet. Keep in mind at this time I didn't know how delivery of babies happened. But after my dad called my mom for a second time saying that my sister was born and I was able to come visit we jumped in the car, and went to the hospital. I was so excited to meet my little sister, my mom and I bought her a little giraffe that had said "your big sister loves you" written on a heart around the neck, and to this day she still has it. When I got into the room my dad had a bracelet for me that said "big sister" on it and had my sister wrapped up in a blanket because he knew I would want to hold her. My mom left for a couple hours after this and I got to sit with my sister and just look at her and I was so excited, my dad was taking care of my stepmom and the nurses took my litter sister every now and then just to make sure everything was okay. She was a healthy baby but had to be delivered through a c-section. I learned how to change a diaper this day, and let me tell you I was incredibly grossed out. But overall this day changed my life. I love my baby sister so much, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. I can't wait till I can take her for ice cream, and take her to go to big sister and little sister things. I just overall wish I could spend more time with her. I love her with all my heart, and I know she loves me too. Till the day I die, I will forever be known because of my sister as "Sisica" and I couldn't be happier about it. I love everything about it. Just like I love my sister.
5-19-09 was a day that forever changed my life
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Junior year is complicated and was off on a rocky start. It didn't start off like I wanted it to. It was a rocky road that I thought maybe would become clear after the first couple weeks. I had thought that's after last year with my procrastination I wouldn't procrastinate anymore, but boy I was wrong about that. I procrastinated the first 2 months of school, which definitely hurt my grades, which has now effected my G.P.A. With that my classes this year are incredibly challenging. Some of the kinds are taking 2 AP classes, well I'm taking 4, and am in medical magnet, and I'm taking a zero period. You guys think it's funny because I did it to myself, but in all reality I need these classes I'm taking to graduate. I just wish I would have taken a different science class, this year my hardest class would honestly be my science class. But now that first semester is over it's time to change my work ethic for that class. I have learned so many new things this year, especially with balancing out all these classes which will help me so much at college so I'm great fun for all of them. I just wish that teachers did t give so much homework every night. ThI re are nights that I can't do one classes homework because I have so much for another. But I guess it will help me in the long run.
Besides that my first semester was good expect for having to lose someone incredibly special to me by 400 miles. It was hard to have to watch him leave, but I'm glad to know that he is doing so well at college, and he comes home to see me and his family every opportunity he gets. It has been hard to continue a relationship, and there has been so many up and down moments but I'm so glad that emotional things have been settled, and that I don't have to worry about so much as much as I used to. Things have been so good. And if we were to all think about it we don't have too much longer until we are seniors, and then not too long from that we graduate and become freshman in college. To me it's kind of frightening, but I'm looking forward to it with everything I have. Your life is a precious sacred thing. Everyday should never be taken for granted, everyday you should be great full. I have had so many opportunities during my life, going to costa rice twice, going to Disneyland, going to Canada, and being in more than 8 states for real reason not just in a airport. However if I had to choose one day to relive in my life, I would choose the day I met my brand new puppy, Hank. He is a saint berdoodle, and is less than 2 months old as of today. He is all black but once full grown he will be more of a deep brown. Here is my story of the day when I went to see him for the first time in person.
It was before Christmas time and I went with my dad to a small city in southern Oregon that took us roughly 2.5 hours to get to. It was a somewhat rainy day, and I was able to just sleep in the back seat on the way down and just get anticipation of what he would look like. We stopped for coffee, and stopped for food about halfway down to the little city. Once we got there we found the house that the couple who were breeding the saint berdoodles. When we got there we were able to decide if we wanted a darker brown puppy or if we wanted to get a reddish puppy that would turn out to look more of like a standard poodle. We decided we wanted the darker brown puppy and we immediately decided that Hank was the perfect name for him.. we definitely wanted a boy because the last 2 Saint Bernard's. We had were both boys and they were almost perfectly behaved, so we wanted to make sure we were getting a boy. Hank was so cute and so cuddly, we loved him on first sight. They were all still little, however you could tell that he was going to be a good dog just by what he was was acting like when we were picking out our puppy. He is he most amazing puppy I have ever had, and I love taking pictures of him and letting him nap on my lap, I even love him when he chews on my most expensive pair of shoes. I love hank to death and he is going to be one amazing puppy I will be excited to train when the time comes. I can't wait until I get to see him again. But for now, here is a picture of him the day we got him right before Christmas. Many people say that it's hard to replace a bed, poster, pair of shoes, expensive clothing, or a electronic. But others they can explain that even if you have a 1000 dollar object in your room, it may not be the most important thing to your life. Others could disagree, just simply because of the fact that the cost was excessive. It's hard for me to choose something because my life is very well cared for. I do have expensive clothing, I do have a smart Tv in my room, and I do contain many things that could be considered very expensive. But the things that mean the most to me are actually the little things, and often they are given to me by the people in my family who I believe really wanted to be in my life. My mom and my grandma were the two people who were always in my life, and encouraged me constantly to chase after my dreams. So my object that I would take from my room if my house was burning is the little purple stuffed animal that my grandmother got me the day I was born.
When I was born, I was giving a little purple teddy bear by my grandmother who has now passed. My grandma meant everything to me, she was the most fun to be around, and I feel like I was always able to be happy around her unless of course I was in trouble; then I wanted to be absolutely no where around her. She's kinda like my mom, she is scary to be around when she is upset or pissed off. She would buy me almost everything I wanted. She made me always feel safe and she always made sure that I was in some type of sport, whether it was little league, ballet, volleyball, or basketball. She lived in a house off of highway 12 up north in a little town called Glenoma. It's so small that you can drive through it, blink and you're already through the whole city. It's that small. I remember when I was little and she would come down to Vancouver, she would tell me stories of when she was growing up with her sister and how her grandmother practically raised her, and I remember during those stories I would be laying down with her with that teddy bear wrapped in my arms because I knew it was those memories that I would keep forever. I used to sleep with that teddy bear constantly because it made me feel like my grandma was constantly with me, because it was hard to see her all the time when she lived what seemed to feel like hours and hours away. When you have people in your life that raised you just as much as your parents you understand why little things that they give you mean so much to you. Especially when that people who was almost a third parent passes away. When my grandma passed away, I don't remember how many days, weeks, months that I slept with that teddy bear. I wanted her back so badly that I had wished to be gone instead of her, she was another mother to me, and I missed her so much. To this day when I see the teddy bear I can't help but shed a tear because it reminds me of her so much. There are nights where I can't sleep and I'll grab the teddy bear and it calms me and just makes everything so much easier, and I'm not afraid to admit it. That teddy bear besides my life, and family means the most to me. It gives me those happy memories that I was able to have with my grandma before she passed. That stuffed animal means so much to me, it sits in a safe place so that it will never be harmed or torn up by any of the animals that I live with. That stuffed animal will be the one thing that helps me get through high school, graduation, and college. My grandmother always believed I could do whatever I want, and with that teddy bear I feel like it's her reminding me of my dreams and that no matter what obstacles life throws at me, I have the thrill and ability to achieve them. Everyone has a love hate relationship with my snort. Some think that it's the cutest thing and they will always laugh with me once I snort, but I have also had people call it the most annoying thing, and they wish that I would never laugh because they get so tired of me snorting. I for one remember the first time that I snorted in my medical magnet class, and now the teacher will legit count down the seconds until I snort; and most of the time she is on cue. I remember my freshman English class always trying to mimic me because that was the class I was most talkative in, and laughed the most in. Those memories are the ones that I cherish the most, but I also have the ones where people used to tell me to shut up, and said that I was incredibly annoying, and that they wished that they could place tape over my mouth before I snort. Don't get me wrong, if I could stop it I would, but at the same time I know that it will make other people laugh; and at this point I really don't care any,ire if they are laughing with me or laughing at me. I just try not to think about it as much. I on one hand, love my snort. I believe it makes me somewhat unique, and makes me have something to talk about when I meet new people and start laughing. But the one thing I like about my snort and my best friend likes it too, is that it can always make people laugh even if they aren't having the best day ever.
It was the spring break of my 7th grade year. My dual language program at Gaiser Middle School, decided we were going to take a trip to different parts of Costa Rica. There was about 40 of us who decided we were going to go. A combination of students, parents, siblings, and teachers. Although we weren't to happy about the teachers being involved. Now let me tell you, my mom was practically in charge of the whole trip. From the places we would visit, to the places we stayed, airfare, food, lodging, and etc. It wasn't the most pleasant trip I have ever been on, but I can definitely say it is one I will never forget.
We had to be at the airport way to early in the morning for my liking, we had to be there quarter to 5, and everyone else was asked to be there at 5:30-ish. We are taking a early flight to a Arizona, and then from Arizona, we go to Costa Rica. Okay keep in mind this is my first plane ride ever. Never have I been on a plane, or had thought about being on one, until this trip. Of course having to get up super early caused me not to eat and caused me to just be sick before I even got aboard the plane. But I got a window seat so it wasn't so bad. Well that's what I thought, until the plane started to move. Take off and being in the air was fine. Until turbulence started to kick in. And let's just say this is how I found out I had motion sickness. Not the best way to find that out. I was sick the whole flight to Arizona. It may not be long in time to people, but to me that was the longest 75 minutes of my life. It felt like eternity. Especially since I felt like throwing up the whole time. We get to Arizona and the first thing my mom does is make me drink a whole bunch of water and makes me eat some food. We had a 6 hour layover in Arizona so we all had plenty of time to eat, charge our phones and etc. But the most important thing to my mom was to make sure that I had a dose of Dramamine before we got on a 11- hour flight to Costa Rica. However that flight wasn't any better. We finally land in Costa Rica, at 11 pm, and we are all exhausted but are wide awake and want to just start the trip but we know we can't. The girls that I roomed with decided we should all stay up and enjoy the new things to look at, however that dream was ruined when the hotel security come and make sure that you're sleeping, and tell your leaders if they hear any noises. So we get in trouble, but whatever because it was my mom so I just kissed ass and told her we just couldn't sleep. The morning of the packed day of activities that included zip lining, started at 6, and let me tell you that I absolutely hated not getting to a hotel until almost midnight and then having to be up at 5:30 for the next day. But because it was such amazing trip, I let that negative slide. We all woke up this morning, with excitement as to what the day will bring us. We get on the bus to travel to Monteverde, Costa Rica. This is where the massive Zipline was that all of us were so excited about and talked about until we actually got there. We get to the place, and listen to the drills, and get harnessed, get the shoes and gloves we needed, and pick our partners for the longest zip lines during the course. The first couple zip lines my adrenaline was through the roof, and then I was able to calm down. It was so much thrill rushing through me, and I was so excited that my patience was close to zero because I just wanted to keep going and going. The best part was that there was a couple times where you had to turn around as you were being sent off because they take your picture to get print offs after you're completed with the course. Ever time you would get pushed off of the perch you stood on between lines, you were just excited for the next one. I remember being able to look down and get goosebumps because of how high we were off the ground, and how the wind would hit the line so perfectly that when you are going to from to the next, there was a whistling sound that was beautiful. Not the annoying whistling noise. The best part of the whole course was the last 3 lines. They were the longest out of all of them. They consisted of at least 2 miles long, and were about 8 miles high. These lines went through the cloud forest in the tour, and the platforms were above the forest itself so we could see the whole thing from multiple different views. It was the most amazing view I had ever seen. The one part that I think killed me the most was called the Tarzan Swing. That was the most terrifying thing I had ever done it was insane, but I would totally do it again if I had the opportunity. It was such a thrill. But I swear I had pissed my pants by the end of it. At this time I was such a lazy person, and you either had to do the Tarzan Swing to reach the end of the course or walk this huge hill. And I wasn't about to do that. So I did the Tarzan Swing instead. The men who were running it said that after they harnessed me in, i would have to walk to the platform and they would count to 3, and that's when I jump. But they don't tell you that one of the guys will follow you to the edge without you knowing and push you off at 2. So I screamed like a girl and couldn't stop until I got un-hooked from the swing itself. It was so much fun, and all I remember after the swing was the thrill of it and that I wanted to do it again. And to know I wasn't the only one who screamed at the top of my lungs was pretty fulfilling too. But that's my story about Cost Rica, it was so much fun and such a amazing trip that I got to do. It was such a amazing experience, and I'm so glad that I decided to go. I was so skeptical about it for a while, but it's one trip I will never not tell the tail of. I loved that trip, even though I had to speak Spanish most of the time. This election was one for me that was incredibly difficut to watch. From the moment I heard that Donald Trump was running I knew that our country was in some danger. Now I'm going to start off this off with saying I do not like Trump, so feel free to stop here and read someone else's blog if you think that you will be offended with my blog. AKA my opnion.
I can not stress enough that Trumo has one this election. I have so many friends that are part of the LGBT community and I feared for their safety. I feared for their life, I was worried that some of them may consider suicide if Trump was elected. Sadly I know one who really felt like their life was in danger and I made sure that they knew I was there for them, the whole night if the election. The nect morning I wake up to a text saying that if I hadn't txted her she probably wouldn't still be alive to this moment. That text message is what got me through that next Wednesday. It was incredibly hard for me to watch this election because of who was running. Honestly I wouldn't have liked either one of them, but it's not like I as a minor have a huge impact on who would have became president. I don't think that these next four years will be incredibly helpful to our country, no to our economy. I mean look at Trump, he honestly paid his way out of a court sentence. That not how a president should be acting. But let me tell you, I'm more scared of our Vice President them our president himself. I were to hope that someone will soon realize that there needs to be a change in presidential politics and how this was all handled through social media, because that truly made everything much worse. I personally do not want to rant for hours about politics because I get so heated that sometimes I have to remove myself from certain situations. But what makes me even more heated is how certain schools and school districts are handling the whole situation. I know that some parents call into school about the signs that are posted that we tend to see through social media. The "Muslim students you are safe." And etc. Parents are calling in because the race of their child "isn't being shown so they must not be important", these parents threaten to sue just because "white" isn't recorded on these positive message signs. That to me, makes me so sick. Why do you care that much to be suing a school, or school district. That shows how immature parents are and privileged certain "rich" families think that they have control. When in all reality they don't. At my school, I know students who didn't come to school the next day after the election because they were scared of how they would be treated, or if they would get in trouble. I know that some kinds were scared of being threatened, or being jumped after school because of their race, or sexuality. This isn't right. I can't believe just one person who now can control our country, now has that big of a effect on people everywhere. But what terrifies me the most about Donald Trump, is the way that he treats women. How would our country look if all men treated all women like that. Women would not be able to defend themselves at all or be able to voice and fight back. His comments towards women in the election were so powerful, that watching some of the debates, I had to mute the TV because I was becoming so uncomfortable with what Trump was saying. I can't believe someone would have the audacity to say that on public television. That so disrespectful, no matter to what sex, or if it's to family, or to the public. I can't believe someone like this was voted into our White House. It's terrifying. I'm scared to see what the next 4 years will bring. I can only hope for the best. But I don't think much good will come from this election. I have one person that I consider my family, I consider him my big brother that I was never able to have. And he is Mexican, and I am incredibly worried about him and his family. I don't want them harmed at all, I would cry if anything happened to him. He protects me when I really need it, and he is alway there when I need someone to talk to. He is my family, and I want nothing to happen to my family. But with how everything else has gone down, I can't say that I know he is completely safe. Dear Gammy,
I want to start this off by saying thank you for always being ther for me when I didnt know what was going to happen next. You had such a great imoact in my life, and I just wish I could have had more time with you. I wish your sickness wouldn't have taken you so soon. You were getting better, but then jt just took you by surprise. I remember all the things we did when I was little, I remember so many things because i always looked forward to spending time with you and Bompa. Whenever mom would ask me if I wamted to go up to your house, I was always the first to be done packing and was ready in the car. Then only hetting in trouble realizing that my mom needed help with packing the car and everything else. But once I got to the house, i was the first out and ready to give hugs adn spend time with you guys. I want to thank you for helping out mom when I was little and always telling me stories when it was tome for me to go to bed, or letting me eat ice cream when it was super late at night (only because mom wasnt there for the weekend). I want to thank you for all the canned fruit that I still eat because its so delicious, and fun to help make. I remember the long trips we would take to Yakima, (etc.) to get fruit to can, and spend time with one another because the time we had together, to me, was precious. And I don't think, I'll forget any moment of it. Not only this but you had spoiled me rotten evrday that you wanted to, I was first grand-baby, and I always felt like I was the one who ended up being raised like another daughter, next to mom and Aunty Steph. I remember all the little stories that you would tell me abiut the house you grew up in, and how you mainly lived with your grandma because it was always amazing. I rememeber you teavhing me how to use amsewing machine, or teaching me how to stich up a pair of pants that ripped. I will never forget the good memories I had with you. Even some of them weren't always the best. I felt like a lot fo attention was put on me and it was always nice. All the presents at christmas and my birthday, and the fact of being the "perfect grandbaby". I sometimes have times wher I wish you were here, and then remember that I have your cremation in our house. I sometimes do sit with them and pray because I just need your advice in that specific moment. And most of the time, within a couple hours I get a gut feeling and it just always feel like its the right thing to do. And in that moment I know, it was you who gave me that thought. It was you who brought me to comfort and common sense. It was you who makes me feel like im doing the right thing. Thank you for rasing me into who I have become today. I love you so much even though you aren't here anymore with us physically. But you are always with me spiritually and I always think of how you reaction would be to my actions now. Thank you so much. I love you so much, and one day I will see you again. You lose things in your life everyday. Could be a pet, a family member, your self confidence, or if you have been able to experience love, you could lose that too. I lost something that meant great deal to me. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't a awful as losing my grandmother who was a second mom to me or my great-grandfather who was like my dad, because my dad isn't always there. But it had a significant impact in my life. I lost who I thought I would marry. I lost who I thought I loved with all my heart. I lost who I thought had loved me. Later finding out for 2 months before he broke up with me he didn't feel any love. Which crushed my heart even more. I don't know and don't think I could tell you how heart broken I actually was. I honestly hate thinking about that period of time where I just felt completely helpless and useless because I wanted nothing to do but to fix the "mistake" that I had so said made. I had found someone who was finally accepting me for me, not asking me to change constantly, or asking me to sacrifice family, sports, or other activities that I loved for them. They were constantly there to have my back in any moment I needed them, or there to give me encouragement or confidence if I felt I wasn't doing something well.
You know when you have that feeling where it's like you know that something is going wrong but you constantly tell yours of it's okay in hopes of that intense scared feeling you have would go away? Well yea that was me for a while. I had thought that there was something going on, I had pictured and gone back to thinking that I wasn't good enough for this person. And while doing this I had lost myself. I lost the person that I had grown up to be, my self esteem, my courage to fight for things, and most importantly, I lost the person I have been working so hard to become. It was a period in my life that I hope I never have to relive w time like that again. I hated what people were saying about me, I hated the way that seniors were telling me I would never be happy again, but then again all I could think about was getting the person who meant the world to me back. At that point it felt like it could have never been done agin. The feeling of heartbreak and anger had come around because what I was dumped over was a rumor that wasn't even true, that just completed ruined the trust I had on this person and the trust I thought they had in me. Everything was just wrong that day. From finding out my mom had to leave for a incredibly hard situation that I can not talk about to this day, to having someone break up with me over a rumor that someone else had started. What irritated me the most about it, was the fact that I wasn't even able to get my side of the story in, it was like a one page book and trying to add to it was impossible because you kept losing you chance to write something and change the story. I had to remove myself from most of my classes for the rest of the day because I didn't want to be seen, I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I wanted back the one person that meant the world to me. Things begin to get gradually better. You notice you guys are talking more again, but you are still feeling distant with everything that has happened. You noticed a close friend on the other side has written a blog about the relationship between you and him. First through, well why? She never had a inside opinion on what was going on and constantly just thought that the relationship was toxic for her best friend. You don't quite know what to say because you really just want all of this to be over. You rI ally just want to be with who you loved, with who you thought loved you, but you now unsure of that in current moments. You don't know what to do that's going to make the situation better, nor do you know if he will ever love you again. You become hesitant and don't know what your role on the world is anymore. Here it comes, the part where you feel you just don't belong anymore. Where you don't want to be living or to be involved in any way in anything because you wanna be so independent that you stop wanting to anything with any of your friends. Now let me tell you my best friend was there for me. She was there when she knew I was sad, she knew I was being forced to go to school and was told not to talk to this boy because we "just needed our time". But we talked anyway, and my friend was just there to try to protect you so your heart doesn't get broken anymore. I rebelled against your friend and talked to him as much as you could, and wanted to have this person back in your life so bad. But not realizing that what my friend was saying to me, would have actually been the better way out. It would have saved me the heartbreak even further. Or the roofless that were then to come because you didn't know what to do anymore. I look t things now and realize that not trying to take my life from anyone around me was incredibly the best choice I could have ever made. I would be missed by so many people, and I wouldn't have lived to see if the relationship could continue. The things is now that I look back at this, I realize I have become much stronger that where I was when all of this started. I have grown into such a strong person, and this guys may not agree with me because I did make my fair share of mistakes but so did he. We both said things to each other that should have never been said and we both know that and apologized to each other for the comments that were completely not needed. Graduation came along, and you went to graduation with his family because things were finally back on a stable road, but still things were rough. I didn't know what was going to happen after that moment, because I didn't know that he was going to go to college wanting to continue to work on us to try to pursue into a relationship again. I ended up spending a lot of my summer with him. When I was t baby sitting or helping my mom, I was with him. Out until 12 most nights, having to get up at 6 the next morning to drive 30 minutes to babysit. But it was all worth it. You know I know that love still isn't there, but we are working on it. Both wanting to make long distance work, since I plan on going to the college he is attending to major in Bio-Chem for a medical degree. We figured as long as we try and neither one of us gives up, there can't be anything we need to fight about. Taking him up to the college was intensively hard because I knew I wouldn't be seeing him for a long time. I knew that I would miss him a lot. But let me tell you, he missed me more than I was expecting him to. We both make time for one another every day, and no matter what even if it's just a hello and goodnight from him, I don't care. Seeing that I am something that he would make time for is just one reason that a smile goes on my face everyday. I thought that I had lost someone who meant the world for me. But I have finally been able to realize that he wants me in his life just as much as I want him. We both are incredibly dedicated to making this distance between us as little as possible. While time is ticking down it just reminds me that I get see him soon and sooner. So I guess with this being said, I don't know where we will go in life. But I do know that my goals and plans haven't changed one bit, because he still has a major role in all of it. Step 1:
Come into high school as a freshman having no intentions of finding some who you could really care about and love. Have no intention to finding your first love, but focusing on studies, sports and just surviving your first year in a new school. Start your first couple days off rocky and just go with the flow until it becomes easier. Meet new people and find out who your real friends could be and determine who those people who only want drama are and cut them out of your life. Step 2: Go to practice everyday and try your hardest to make sure that you really understand why you want to play that sport. Don't play a sport for the wrong reasons. Meet new friends in sports, and then meet their friends as well. You soon realize you have feelings for one of your best friends friend. He is a junior. You're scared. You are confused. But then realize it's perfectly fine to have feelings for a upperclassman. Step 3: Ask your friend for his number. Not realizing that your friend used to date him and still had feelings for him. Your friend gives you his number and you start talking instantly. You realize you have a lot in common and don't even want to go to sleep because you don't want to stop talking. You notice that someone besides family really cares for you, and really wants to know more about you. You flirt for a while and ask to hang out, and ask about going to the upcoming homecoming football game. Monday September 15th, 2014 the Monday before the football game you guys become official. He finally asks you out, and you feel like a princess. Step 4: Homecoming game. You agree to meet at the football stadium, kiggins. You have to drive with your mom because sadly, you don't have your license yet. You get to the field and text him saying your here even though you already know he isn't yet. You wait for a response. 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes. Finally, what felt like eternity. He finally replied with "I'm here." You get so excited knowing this is it, your chance to shine and to finally find someone is right in front of you. Step 5: You sit together and watch the first quarter of the football game together, with space in between you of course. After the first quarter you notice he has gradually gotten closer to you. You start to smile a little bit under the collar of your jacket and move closer to him as well. He wraps his arm around you and asks if your warm or if you need a jacket. Even though he didn't bring one. You talk about so many things that your head just gets filled with all these little things that you begin to love about him. Halftime is coming up and you decide that you wanted to walk around for a little bit before watching who gets crowed homecoming queen. Step 6: You both decide that you want to go down by the goalposts down on the other side of the football field to talk about more personal things. You ask him about his home life and he explains that he live with his mom, stepdad, little brother (who I actually went to middle school with) and his little sister. He explains that his dad really hasn't been there for him and that he moved down from Renton, WA to Vancouver, WA during 8th grade. This bring back bad memories that you, yourself have with your dad. You break down to realize that you have something incredibly personal in common with him. Step 7: He asks you why you're crying and you decide to tell him everything that has happened with your dad. He is silent. You wonder if you are saying things that sound incredibly stupid, or fake even. You wonder if you just ruined this chance. All he does is asks you to stop crying and to calm down so you could talk easier. You slow down your breathing and realize that he still really cares about you and wants to make you feel better. He hugs you. And you know right here, right this minute that this is the person that you truly want to start things off with. Step 8: You need to get a dress for homecoming that morning. But you have a breakdown in the middle of the store. You can't find a dress that you like because of your size. You wonder if it's just not even worth it to go to homecoming now. But you find a dress last minute and love it. You wonder if all the comments that were made in middle school were true. Finally a you go home to get ready for the dance Step 9: You drive with your mom to the dance. You get there before everyone else because she works at the school you go to. Yeah u wait for your date to get there, nervously. You can't stop shaking because you don't know what his respond will be about your dress, because he knows how hard it was for you to find "the dress." You wait and wait and wait. And just want him to be there already. Step 10: You see that your date is walking up the stairs in the front of the school. You walk outside the doors to meet him. His reaction is priceless and makes your heart drop. You feel beautiful for once in high school. You feel like you can really walk around and not have to worry about what others will say about your outfit. Except for the fact that you have to pull up your dress every 5 seconds. You guys walk around for a while before you notice that a girl keeps looking at him. Step 11: He excuses himself to go talk to this girl. You get kind of confused at first but don't think too much about it. You get a better look at her and realize that she is wearing the same homecoming dress as you. So you wonder and ask who she is when he comes back. He explains that's it's a friend that he has had since fresh and year. And they had dated for a week. You got uncomfortable for a minute, but he tries to reassure you that you are the only girl in his life right now. You believe him and just focus back on the dance to have a good time. You forget about it for a while and go to the dance floor in the cafeteria to have fun and enjoy your first high school dance with the person that your heart is telling you you're in love with. Step 12: The dance is over and you have to go home now. You and your boyfriend (your date) say goodbye and hug and agree to go home and talk until you both fall asleep on one another. Going home you can't stop thinking about how amazing the night was. You just continue to thank him when you get home because you haven't had a night that amazing in forever, and to be with someone who you think you may be able to spend the rest of your life with. Step 13: A month or two goes along and you guys are doing amazing. You notice that the feeling that you started out with has grown so much stronger. You don't want to go to sleep at night because you don't want to stop talking to your boyfriend. Weeks go by so fast you have lost track of time. Two months together, 4 months together, half a year. Time just keeps adding up and you don't know by time goes by so incredibly fast. Step 14: Christmas comes around. Gifts are exchanged. You get a pair of nice earrings and a relaxing bath bomb because he knows you have been so stressed and just need help to relax. You get him a relaxed-fit hat that sports the Seattle huskies. His favorite college team. January comes around. Nothing incredible comes around except for the fact that you leave for Costa Rica in a couple months. You get asked questions as to why you don't want to go or why am I even going? The answer remains the same. I have spoke Spanish for so long. Being in a place like that would just make me feel incredibly white. Step 15: My birthday comes around. He says that he wants to pick you up and go somewhere. We go to lunch at red robin. Coincidence that my birthday happened to be on Super Bowl Sunday. He explains to me that his family celebrates it hugely and that you're invited back to his house to watch the game. You get nervous for a minute and say that you need to ask your mom. Well your mom says yes, and you get excited on the outside but incredibly nervous on the inside. You have only been over there 3 or 4 times. You go to the super bowl party and everyone is so excited to see you because they know that it's your birthday and they all start singing. Which makes you incredibly red. Step 16: The night is over and you go home. You tell your mom all about your day and and notice that she has presents for you as well. Drivers Ed, and a trip to get your permit. You think to yourself, this has been one of the best days. Step 17: Months go by and fights have happened but you just don't think too much of it. You think that every relationship has it fights. None of them were super big so you thought you had nothing to worry about. School starts, September 15th comes around. One complete year has gone by. How has this happened? You feel like it's only been a couple months. Time flies by when you are with someone you have fallen for. You guys are getting ready for homecoming #2. Theme of Romecoming. Where I had my favorite dance dress I think I will ever have. Step 18: You don't make a big deal about being asked because you already know that you guys are going with each other. But just keep thinking that you will be asked. It never happened, but it's okay. Homecoming #2 was great, except the fight at the start. Pictures of you guys looked beautiful, and it's the last homecoming that you'll have with him, as it's his senior year. Step 19: Christmas comes around, and you guys are fighting s little more and you just continue to think its normal. Your best friend starts to become a outside view and gives her perspective on what's really going on. But you're trying not to let other people in. You notice because of the fighting he is hanging out more with the girl from freshman homecoming. You get nervous you don't really know much about her be sides the fact that she had dated him for a week, and the fact that she may not be completely over him yet. Step 20: Notice that she is talking to him more and they have more classes together. Notice that it feel like he is drifting away from you and talking to her. You wonder if this could be the end. You don't know. Drama starts and things that weren't meant get said. But at this point you're so caught up in it, your life has been taken over by it. Things get a little out of control and people start noticing. You don't know what to do anymore. You feel like the one person who you cared about so much is trying to drift away. Step 21: Jealousy takes over, and you begin to just feel hatred toward this girl. You don't know what to do about it. You just let it sit there because whenever you try to talk about you just get yelled at or told that you need to forget about it. The jealously felt like it was never going to go away. Step 22: Bigger fights start to happen and you try to not tell people about it. But your best friend is there and wants you to understand she is there for you. All the time. You wonder if he could be leaving you for this girl that you have felt like there was a problem with from the beginning. You don't know what to do anymore. You start to lose sanity and start to cry all the time at school because you're afraid of just being left behind. Things are said to one another and you don't know why you let them come out of your mouth. But in your heart you know that they needed to be said. You know defending yourself is what you need to do. Step 23: You guys break up. Step 24: You still talk and still went to prom together. You want to still continue to try to pursue a relationship and future with this one person. You had a good night at prom. But he dances to the same song you danced at, during freshman homecoming with this other girl. Suddenly everything hits. You notice this is it. You have screwed yourself over and don't know what to do anymore. You don't want to start more fight because you are just trying to solve everything. Step 25: Your feelings of jealousy is still there. You help him move into his college dorm. But know that things are going to be incredibly hard. You'll worry that you'll be left in the dust after he leaves and when you go back home. You cry a lot. But he says he does want things to work and, he wants to try everything he can do to be there for you when you need it. You agree and just hope things will gradually get better Step 26: You constantly tell yourself it's going to be okay, but in all honesty you just don't know. You can only hope for the best, and live everyday by the day and not focus too much on the past or too much on the future. |
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